Mom: Did you have a nightmare?
Kid: No, I'm worried about this family's financial future. Does your retirement plan provide predictability of income and protection against market risk? Do you have good supplemental health insurance? What about estate plan? Car insurance? Dents are easy to fix but liability's the nightmare!!!
Dad: Buddy, we're with AIG. SO PACK UP ALL YOUR SHIT AND GET IN THE CAR FAST!!
Or this one, which I'm sure everyone has seen:
Dad: What're you thinking about hunnie?
Kid: Butterflies. What're you thinking about, daddy?
Dad: I'm thinking about butterflies too.
Kid: But daddy, aren't you worried about protecting your company and your employees in the changing global economy? Are you tapped into the right capital markets expertise to help manage your institutional assets? What about life insurance? College? Retirement? You need a smart financial plan, you know.
Dad: Honey, we're with AIG, so I've arranged for a family of gypsies to take you in while your mother and I flee to the Bahamas.
On the school bus:
Girl 1: Same thing, day in and day out...
Girl 2: Problems at home?
Girl 1: My mom's looking for a better group benefits provider for her company.
Girl 3: My dad's company is tough to ensure. He needs risk management solutions with alternative collateral options.
Boy 1: My mom's company really should consider private equity investments to help meet its pension plan obligations.
Girl 2: My parents are with AIG.
Girl 1, Girl 3, Boy 1 (in unison): SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GIVE US YOUR LUNCH MONEY!!